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Shareware Notice
This book is distributed as shareware, with a small
twist. The twist is that there is no set registration fee.
If you find the book to be of value to you, you may send
whatever contribution you feel appropriate to:
David Leithauser
4649 Van Kleeck Drive
New Smyrna Beach, FL 32169
Contributions will be used to further research and
educational activities based on the material described in
the book. People who make contributions will be put on a
mailing list to receive updates on the book, announcements
of related materials, and other goodies related to the
material in this book. Contributors of $10 or more will be
sent a professionally printed hard copy of the book if they
request it.
You are free to duplicate and distribute this material
provided that all of files in this package are distributed
together and the material is not changed, modified, added
to, or deleted from in any way without my (David Leithauser)
permission. I can be reached at the above address, on GEnie
(D.LEITHAUSER), or on CompuServe (74046,1556).
How the Mind Works
and How To Make It Work Better
by
Pitsost
Introduction
As the title suggests, this book is about how the human
mind works, and how to make it work better. "Better", in
this case, really means the way it is designed to work.
Making it work better means recognizing and eliminating
certain mistakes in the way people think about their minds
and use them.
Each chapter of this book starts with an explanation of
how the mind usually behaves. This is followed by an
explanation of a more effective way to use the mind. Each
chapter then ends with some exercises designed to help the
reader get back on track with using the mind the way it is
designed to be used. The exercises at the end of each
chapter will take most people about a week to get the hang
of. You will benefit most if you stick with the exercises
in one chapter until you at least get some experience with
them and get the feel of doing them before you go on to the
next chapter. When you do go on to another chapter and
start the exercises in that chapter, you will benefit from
continuing to do the exercises from all preceding chapters.
In fact, you will continue to benefit from doing the
exercises for the rest of your life. This is because the
"exercises" actually consist of using your mind the way it
is designed to be used.
Do not be discouraged if the exercises seem difficult or
unfamiliar. They will work if you keep at them long enough
and diligently enough. The work will be very rewarding if
you stick with it. It can give you an inner freedom and
peace that you have never experienced before.
Chapter 1
Parts of the Mind
It is a common misconception that the human mind is all
one thing. That the thoughts, emotions, sensations,
awareness, and other aspects of the mind are all one
inseparable mass. In reality, the mind is made up of
several distinct functions. Recognizing the separateness of
these functions of the mind and working with them can
greatly benefit the individual. I wish to emphasize here
that this separateness of the parts of the mind is not just
a semantic tool for purposes of describing the mind. The
separateness exists, and failure to recognize and maintain
this separateness can lead to problems for the individual.
Figure 1.1 shows a diagram of some of the parts of the
mind, shown pictorially as being inside the head.
The first part of the mind is the awareness. This is
the part of the mind that is the real you, the real being.
To get an idea of what awareness is, a simple experiment
might be useful. Pick any object in the room. A rather
dull, uninteresting object works best. Look at this object.
Take in this object. Some might say mediate on it. Do not
"think about it." Do not compare it with other objects,
evaluate it, or draw any conclusions about it. If any
thoughts come into the mind, ignore them. Just be aware of
the object, its color, shape, location, and so on, for
about a minute. Let your mind be blank except for your
awareness of the object's existence. This is the pure
awareness (or at least as close as we can come in a simple
exercise).
The second part of the mind is what we will call the
intellectual center. This is where information is stored.
When information comes into the awareness through the
senses and the awareness accepts this information as true,
the awareness puts this information into the intellectual
center. Figure 1.2 shows this process. In this picture, the
eye is used to represent the senses. However, the
information can come through any of the senses.
The intellectual center is not just a passive
collection of facts, however. When the awareness puts a
piece of information into the intellectual center, this
center compares it with other information already stored
there. When it finds other information related to the new
piece of information, it sends the related information back
to the awareness. This is what is called associations. This
is shown in figure 1.3. The awareness is then supposed to
look at this information and be aware of which of these
pieces of information are relevant to the current
1
situation. That "supposed to" is the big catch, as I will
discuss shortly.
There are two types of information. The first is pure
statements of fact, like "The sky is blue" or "Things fall
down." The second type of information is a value judgement,
such as "This is good" or "This is desirable" or "This is
bad." You could say that the two types of information are
"What is" and "What is valuable."
This second type of information is where the third part
of the mind, the emotional center, comes in. When
information on the value of things is put into the
intellectual center, it is also put into the emotional
center. The information on what is valuable can come into
the awareness directly from the senses, or can come up from
the intellectual center as a result of an association. (See
Figure 1.4.) The emotional center also comes with some
preprogrammed information at birth, such as "Pain is
undesirable."
The emotional center, like the intellectual center, is
not passive. It also sends messages back to the awareness.
These messages are in the form of emotions or feelings.
(There is a difference between emotions and feelings, which
we will go into much later.)
The fourth part of the mind is the action center. When
both types of information, what is and what is valuable,
about a situation go to the awareness and the awareness
accepts both of them as true, a decision is put into the
action center. (Figure 1.5.) A decision consists partly of
facts from the intellectual center and partly of energy
from the emotional center. Once a decision is put into the
action center, action takes place (seems appropriate,
doesn't it?).
Lets take a simple example. Suppose you stick your hand
in a fire. Your senses provide your awareness with a piece
of data: Fire causes pain. Your emotional center provides
your awareness with a value judgement: Pain is undesirable,
and should be avoided. This puts into the action center a
decision: Remove the hand from the fire. This decision is
acted on rather quickly.
Now let us say that some years after your experience
with the fire, you observe (through your senses) that the
building you are in is on fire. This information goes from
the senses to the awareness, which puts this information
into the intellectual center. The intellectual center does
its duty, which is to send back to the awareness any
related information. One of these pieces of information,
recorded when you put your hand in the fire, is that fire
causes pain. Again, the emotional center reports that pain
is bad. (By the way, when the emotional center first
reported this to the awareness, the awareness probably also
stored this in the intellectual center, so the intellectual
center is also reporting that pain is bad.) The awareness
2
makes the decision to leave the building, this decision is
automatically put into the action center, and the action is
carried out (again, rather quickly if possible).
This is the way it is supposed to work. However,
trouble can develop when the awareness does not do its job
of being aware of the nature of the thoughts (information
from the intellectual center) and feelings and emotions
(coming from the emotional center). The trouble comes when
the awareness forgets that the thoughts and feelings and
emotions are information being presented to it. The
awareness sometimes (often) forgets its own separateness
from these. When this happens, the awareness is said to be
identified with these thoughts and feelings and emotions.
When one feels anger or fear coming from the emotional
center, one says "I am angry" or "I am afraid" rather than
that one feels these emotions. When one feels sadness or
happiness, one says "I am sad" or "I am happy." The
awareness thinks that it is these things, rather than that
it is feeling (experiencing) these sensations.
Likewise, the awareness believes that it is the
thoughts that are presented to it by the intellectual
center, rather than that these thoughts are information and
suggestions being presented to it for evaluation. When this
happens, the awareness tends to accept these suggestions as
fact, and send this information to the action center
immediately. When this has been happening long enough,
thoughts and emotions can enter the awareness and be passed
on to the action center so fast (since awareness is no
longer making any attempt to really look at them) that
awareness does not even see them. The process becomes
automatic. Some would say that the awareness goes to sleep,
or becomes mechanical. A psychiatrist would normally say
that the person is acting subconsciously.
Let's take a simple example of this, going back to our
person that put his hand in the fire. We discussed the fact
that such a person would quickly flee from a burning
building. (Of course, almost anyone would do this even if
they had never been burned personally, since they have been
told the importance of such action, but we will get to that
later.) Now suppose that such a person walked into a room
with a fire in the fireplace. If the awareness is not
active, the thoughts "There is a fire" and "I must flee
from a fire" could flow from the intellectual center
through the awareness into the emotional center and the
action center. The person could experience fear (from the
emotional center) and flee from the building (the action
center at work). The person is often said to have a phobia
of fire. However, if the awareness is paying attention, it
will see that the thought "I must flee from a fire" is
merely a suggestion sent to the awareness by the
intellectual center, based on previous experience. The
awareness will then look at the situation more closely,
3
gather more information, and see that the fire is properly
contained and safe. If it experiences fear from the
emotional center, it will be aware that this is simply a
sensation coming into the awareness. It will see that this
sensation will soon pass, and does not need to be acted on.
The decision to flee is not put into the action center, and
the person can remain in the room and enjoy both the fire
and the other activities going on in the room.
This has been an admittedly simplistic example. It is
intended just to illustrate the differences between the
workings of an active awareness and an inactive awareness.
Better examples will follow in later chapters. For now,
practice with the concept of this separation of the parts
of the mind can be valuable.
As an exercise, imagine this separateness of the parts
of the mind. Visualize yourself as the awareness inside
your own head. Visualize two objects below you that
represent the intellectual center and the emotional center.
(It is not necessary to visualize the action center.) The
intellectual center will be sending you thoughts. Picture
this center as something that you can easily associate with
sending you messages. Some people find it easiest to
picture this as a ticker tape machine with messages
streaming out of it, or as one of those signs that form
moving words out of lights, or as a TV or computer screen
with words moving across it. Some people find it most
useful to imagine it as some type of mechanical device like
a catapult, flinging thoughts written on little pieces of
paper or pictures on pieces of paper up to the awareness to
look at. Some people who tend to think verbally rather than
visually find it easiest to think of it as a tape recorder
playing back verbal suggestions. Some people find it
easiest to think of it as a person or even a demon of some
kind whispering (or shouting) instructions at you. If you
think of it as a person, I suggest that you make it a
child, since most of the suggestions and information that
will be coming from it were accepted when you were a child.
This will help you not to take the suggestions too
seriously. However you visualize the intellectual center,
the valuable object of this exercise is to remember that
all of these suggestions and information coming from it are
just that. They may or may not be correct or appropriate
from your current situation.
The same goes for your emotional center. We have all
experienced physical sensations with our physical bodies.
Typical sensations might be the warmth of the sun on our
faces, a blast of cold from an open door, or sensation of
wetness as we get rained on. In this picture of yourself
inside your head, see the emotional center as some object
that sends sensations to you, like a barrel or well that
sometimes sends up blasts of warm or cold air or sprays of
water. (See Figure 1.6.) The valuable thing is to visualize
4
that these emotions are sensations that the awareness is
being bathed in from the emotional center, not the
awareness itself.
As for the senses, visualize this little person (the
awareness) that is you looking at the world through these
senses, but not being the senses. You could imagine this
little person looking at TV screens to see what the body is
seeing, listening to sound over a speaker to hear what is
coming from outside, and likewise experiencing the other
senses through instruments of some kind. The idea is to
view the senses as information.
Let's do this exercise for about a week. For the next
week, as much as you can, see every thought that comes into
your awareness from your intellectual center as a piece of
information, a piece of information that is separate from
the awareness itself. Be aware that it may be correct or
incorrect, but it is just a suggestion being shown to you
by your intellectual center. This center is just doing its
job of showing you memories that might be relevant to your
current situation, based on its mechanism of association.
When you feel a feeling or emotion (happiness, sadness,
anger, fear, guilt, etc.), be aware that this is a
sensation coming from the emotional center, and be aware of
your separateness from it. Do not try to fight or resist
the feeling, just be aware that you are feeling it, not
being it.
You will not be able to do this exercise 24 hours a
day. It is very easy to get caught up in the thoughts and
feelings as you rush about your daily activities. Do not be
discouraged if you realize that you have been identified
with your thoughts for a few hours. Just resume the process
of being aware of your separateness from these thoughts and
feelings. The benefits (the strenghtening of your
awareness) are cumulative. If you are aware for 10 minutes
one day and 5 minutes the next, you have gained a total of
15 minutes of awareness, not lost 5 minutes from one day to
the next.
Take care to do this work as much as you can for the
next week. After you have done this and gotten the hang of
it a bit, we will discuss some specific thoughts to watch
for and possibly reevaluate (in the next chapter). For now,
practice, practice, practice.
5
Chapter 2
Thinking in Absolutes and Extremes
If you have been doing the recommended exercises
for about a week, you have begun to experience the feeling
of separateness from your thoughts and feelings and
emotions. You have probably begun to notice that these
thoughts and feelings and emotions no longer have quite as
much of a grip on you as they once did. You may even have
come to realize that all the things you "believe" and
"know" are really just specific thoughts that you had
previously stored in the intellectual center at a time when
they seemed reasonable, and that each one of these thoughts
may or may not be true in your current situation. A more
detailed look at specific thoughts may now be useful.
One of the problems with allowing the awareness to
be asleep and automatically accept any thoughts sent up by
the intellectual and emotional centers is that the first
thoughts sent up by these centers is usually expressed in
absolutes and extremes. When the senses report a situation
to the awareness and the awareness sends this information
to the intellectual center, this center immediately tries
to compare the current situation with the closest related
situation in memory. The intellectual center and the
emotional center then often report the situation as being
either BAD or GOOD, something that SHOULD or SHOULD NOT be.
When the situation is valued as BAD, the intellectual
center sends up the first and strongest association, which
is usually something like "I've got to get out of this!" If
the sleeping awareness passes this on to the action center,
there is a strong feeling of urgency, fear, anger, and so
on. The person does not evaluate the situation, look for
alternatives, etc. The first thought to come into the
awareness is usually very simplistic.
Now suppose the awareness is awake and realizes
that this simplistic, urgent thought is just a suggestion,
one possible course of action. The awareness does not
immediately send this suggestion to the action center. It
can wait while other information comes up from the
intellectual center. This information is usually less
extreme, clearer, and offers more options.
The first thing that the awareness may realize if
it takes the time to get the whole picture is that the
current situation is not really the same as that other
situation that was so bad or good. For example, many people
are afraid of having other people angry at us. This is
because as a child, having someone (usually a parent) angry
at us often was immediately followed by punishment.
6
Punishment to a child is very scary, so the intellectual
center has the information stored that having someone mad
at us is BAD, and something must be done about it. If the
awareness does not immediately pass this previously made
decision on to the action center, however, it may have time
to see that it this particular case, you are in no
immediate danger.
Now suppose that in this particular case, the
additional information that come from the intellectual
center does reveal that the current situation is the same
as the previous situation. Let us assume for the sake of
discussion that the consequences of the current situation
are quite likely to be the same as they were in the past.
We can still take the time to evaluate how BAD this BAD is.
That is, we do not have to immediately accept and act on
the thought that we MUST do something about this situation.
That thought too is just a decision that was made
previously and stored in the intellectual and emotional
centers. That thought too is just a suggestion being shown
to the awareness.
When we do not automatically accept that we must
react to an unpleasant situation, the awareness can look at
information (both from the senses and from knowledge stored
in the intellectual center) on the pros and cons of acting
on the current situation. Is it worth the shear effort
involved in avoiding the unpleasantness? For example, if
someone is displeased with you, is it really worth doing
what you would have to do to please that person? Do you
really care that much about that person's opinion? Is that
person in a position where you need their approval (for
example, your boss)? How much is it worth to you, both in
shear effort and other personal sacrifices you would have
to make, to have that person's approval? The same kind of
evaluation can go into the decision regarding any
unpleasantness, whether it is physical or emotional. The
same kind of evaluation can go into deciding how much you
are willing to do to gain a pleasant situation, as opposed
to avoiding an unpleasant one.
Assuming that we decide that the current situation
is worth doing something about, we still do not have to
automatically accept the first suggestion that comes up
from the intellectual center telling us what to do about
it. The first suggestion that comes into the awareness
about how to handle the situation will often not be the
best one for the the current circumstances. The first and
strongest suggestion will often be a simplistic solution.
Remember that the intellectual center is simply free
associating with the information it is receiving. It will
tend to come up with the simplest solution that may have
worked in the past, usually in your childhood. If you do
not identify with this first suggestion and act on it
automatically (i.e. - if you remember your separateness
7
from your thoughts and treat them like suggestions), you
will find that other, often more useful, suggestions will
come into the awareness. We will discuss this subject more
in the next chapter. For now, let's stick with the subject
of this chapter, which is the tendency to think in extremes
about the need to do something about the situation.
It may be useful to look at a few of the extreme
thoughts that sometimes come into the awareness, so that we
can be on the lookout for them. Here are a few of the more
common ones:
I have to ...
I must ...
I must not ...
I should ...
I should not ...
You should ...
You should not ...
I need ...
... is good.
... is bad.
If you think about these carefully, you will see
that these statements have no specific, real, definable
meaning as they stand. What does it mean when you say "I
have to" do something? What does it mean when you say "I
need" something? By themselves, they literally mean
nothing. Yet when one of these thoughts pops into a
sleeping awareness (one that is not doing its job of seeing
these thoughts as suggestions), it is immediately passed on
to the action center as a decision, and you're off and
running with a great sense of urgency.
Many of these are actually incomplete thoughts. For
example, "I have to ..." or "I must ..." really means that
you need to do something in order to accomplish or prevent
something. That is, it is a means to an end. For example,
"I have to go to work." really means "I have to go to work
in order to keep my current job and make money." Often it
translates in the end into "I have to [insert unpleasant
task here] to prevent [insert name of particularly scary
person here] from being angry at me, or at least severely
disapproving of me." Likewise, "I need ..." basically means
that you require that object in order to achieve or obtain
something that you want. For example, when a person says,
"I need you." in a romantic situation, what they are really
saying is that they need you to be with them and say you
love them in order for them to feel happy/secure/fulfilled.
Another commonly heard phrase that has no clearly
defined meaning is "I should ..." or "I should not ..." or
"You should ..." or "You should not .." In general, that
things should be a certain way. Exactly what "should" means
is seldom if ever clearly defined. This leads to
considerable disagreement over what "should" be, often
resulting in violence. For the sake of discussion here, let
8
us say that "should" means that if things are the way they
should be and everyone does what they should do, an outcome
that is particularly pleasant to the speaker will occur.
When we say that something is bad, what we really
mean is that it will result in some unpleasant situation.
When we say that something is good, we really mean that it
produces some pleasant or desirable situation or makes us
feel happy.
Now that we have a better handle on what these
phrases mean, we can look at them more reasonably. When one
of these thoughts pops into the awareness, we do not want
to accept them as a final decision and pass them
immediately on to the action center. We can be aware that
they are poorly defined or incomplete thoughts, and look at
them more carefully. For example, when a thought like "I
have to ..." or "I must ..." or "I must not ..." pops into
the awareness, we can look at what we hope to accomplish by
doing what we "have to". We can evaluate just how valuable
that desired end is. Is it really worth that effort? If it
is worth the effort to go ahead and do it, is it really the
end of the world if we somehow fail to do it? If we take
the time to realize what it is we what to get out of it
when we say "I have to ...", we can decide whether it is
worth it to do this thing in this particular situation. If
we decide that it is, we can still do it calmly and without
panic, fully aware at all times that if for some reason we
do not succeed, all that will happen is that we will not
achieve the particular desired effect that we were striving
for, and we will probably survive anyway.
There is one particularly nice effect of examining
the "have to" thoughts this was. If you look at what you
"have to" do in terms of "If I do [insert task here], I may
obtain [insert benefit here]", you will find that the task
is much more pleasant. You will find yourself looking at
the task as a positive experience that will lead to a
reward, rather than this threatening, forced, "I have to do
this." experience.
When we have the thought "I should ...", it means
that if I do what "I should", it will result in a pleasant
situation, or avoid some unpleasant situation. Often this
unpleasant situation is having someone strongly disapprove
of us. This can make your motivation for doing what you
think you should a bit less evident, because you are not
totally aware of your own motivation. Many people will say,
"No, I do what I should because I really SHOULD do it."
However, if you ask them what will happen and press them
long enough, it will always come down to the fact that
someone (society, parents, God, or whoever) will disapprove
of them, and they wish to avoid this. If you do not believe
this, try it on yourself. Think of something that you do
because you believe that you SHOULD (or SHOULDN'T) do it,
and ask yourself what would happen if you did (or didn't)
9
do it. Seriously consider not doing this thing you SHOULD
do (or doing this thing you SHOULDN'T do). You will find
that the intellectual center will quickly come up with a
very personal reason to do what you SHOULD (like, "Your
mother will kill you if you do that.")
Again, if you look at this "I should" in terms of
pros and cons, benefits and costs, you can make a balanced
decision about whether the benefits of doing it are worth
the costs of not doing it. It loses the scary absoluteness
of an absolute "I should". The same thing applies (in
reverse) when you find the thought "I should not" racing
through the awareness.
When we think "You (or they, or whoever) should" or
"You (or they, or whoever) should not" do something, what
we really mean is that it will be more pleasing to us if
the other person does what they should. For example, we may
say "You should not talk to me like that." or "I think you
should apologize for what you did to me." When the thought
comes into the awareness that someone else should or should
not do something, it is often accompanied by a thought that
we should make them behave as they should. Usually, this
thought is limited to a lot of yelling at the other person
or criticizing them for the way they are behaving.
Sometimes people go a lot further in trying to get people
to do what the thoughts suggest they should do. This is an
area where it is very definitely useful to evaluate the
pros and cons of trying to get others to do as the thoughts
suggest they should.
When the thought "I need ..." comes into the
awareness, you can look at what you need it (whatever "it"
is) for. Then you can evaluate whether obtaining it is
worth the price required to get it. Even if you decide it
is worth the price, the "I need" becomes "I want", and you
can be more relaxed about getting it.
When the "... is good" or "... is bad" thoughts
come into the awareness, you can see the situation in terms
of relative goodness and badness. That is, in terms of
relative pleasantness and unpleasantness. This can be
especially useful when you are confronted by two or more
bad situations that you must accept one of. Instead of
"This is bad and I must avoid it and that is bad and I must
avoid it and I cannot avoid both of them and oh, my what am
I going to do, I think I will fall apart or kill myself.",
you can observe that this is an unpleasant but survivable
situation and that is an unpleasant but survivable
situation, and which one would you rather have.
Your exercise for this week is to be aware of
absolute thoughts (have to, must, should, need, good, bad)
that come into your awareness. Intercept them on the way to
the action center. Do not accept them immediately. When you
do not act an a suggestion immediately, the intellectual
center will send you more information on why you have to,
10
should, should not, need, etc. act on the suggest. Observe
this new information. Observe that the situation does not
really fit into such absolutes, such black and white.
Observe that there are degrees of desirability of the
results of the various "have to" and "should" actions. You
may still decide to do the original action suggested by the
absolute thought, but you will find that it will be a
calmer, more relaxed, more pleasant action than the
compulsion suggested by the original thought.
Continue to do the work of seeing your separateness
from the thoughts and feelings and emotions. Of course,
this is necessary in order to do the exercise of observing
the absolute thoughts and suggestions.
11
Chapter 3
Inner Conflict
As you have been doing the exercises for the last
few weeks, you have gained some experience with looking at
the thoughts that go through the mind. You have seen that
these thoughts are separate from the awareness that
experiences them. You have had some practice looking at
certain specific thoughts (those that see everything in
black or white, as being either totally bad or totally
good). It may now be useful to look at the origins of some
of these thoughts, and the results of some mutually
contradictory thoughts that try to achieve certain goals by
mutually exclusive means.
Before looking at the specific thoughts that the
intellectual and emotional centers often present to the
awareness, let's look at some of the goals that people are
trying to achieve by these thoughts. Everyone has four
basic desires. Each of these desires has a gain and an
avoid aspect, for a total of eight desires. That is, each
desire has something that a person likes to gain and
something that a person likes to avoid.
The simplest of these desires is physical
sensations. Everyone likes to gain pleasant physical
sensations, like warmth or pleasant tastes in food.
Everyone likes to avoid unpleasant physical sensations,
most notably pain.
The other three desires are usually a bit more
subtle, and involve social interactions. The first of these
is the desire to have other people pay attention to us. We
begin to feel an experience known as loneliness if nobody
pays any attention to us for a long time. We also dislike
the opposite of having people pay attention to us, which is
to be ignored.
The third desire is the desire for approval from
others. It is not enough that people are paying attention
to us (the second desire), we also want these people to
like us and approve of us. We dislike having people
disapprove of us, dislike us, or think poorly of us.
The fourth desire is a desire for importance, for
power. We like to be able to control people, or at least
influence them. We all have a certain natural desire to be
dominant. We also dislike feeling inferior to others and
being required to do as they say.
Now it is necessary for further growth of our
understanding of ourselves for us to understand that every
person has all eight of these desires (that is, the gain
and avoid side of each of the four). There is no person on
12
Earth who does not have these desires as an inherent part
of their inner instincts. People may have these desires in
different proportions and different priorities. Some people
may have largely subjugated their desire for power in order
to have approval, for example, or vise versa. Many people
will be strongly tilted toward either the gain or the avoid
aspects. That is, some people may be so concerned with
avoiding pain that they do not dare to strive for much
pleasure, preferring safety from pain. Others may be so
heavily weighted toward gaining pleasure that they seem
almost immune to pain (we usually call these people
thrill-seekers). However, everyone has these eight urges to
some extent. Anyone who says that they have no interest in
one or more of these (like "I, of course, have no desire
for power over others.") is deceiving themselves (which
will be discussed in the next chapter - no peeking ahead).
For now, let us just accept that these desires are a
natural part of human instincts and go from there.
At a very early age (at birth, to be specific), we
start trying to find ways to satisfy these desires. We do
not think in words, of course, but we do begin to detect at
a very primitive level that certain actions bring about a
reduction in the pain and an increase in the desired
comforts. The first technique that we develop is to
complain (largely because certain crying instincts are
built in). We find that if we complain (wail at lot, to
start), someone comes along and gives us something to
relieve the hunger (pain) and will give us warmth (physical
pleasure) and attention. Thus, the first set of thoughts
that we develop is to complain when we don't get our way.
After we have had something pleasant a few times,
we come to feel that it is a natural part of the world
order and that we have a right to it. We feel that we can
continue to get what we want by demanding our rights. As a
child, we do this by throwing temper tantrums. As we get
older, we develop slightly (but only slightly) more
sophisticated methods of getting things that we feel we
have a right to. I say only slightly more sophisticated
methods, because they still tend to be some form of
demanding or belligerence to cow others into giving us what
we consider our rights, not working to promote our ability
to do the things we want to do. Note that in this book,
when I use the word "right", I am defining it as those
things that we want and in some way we feel are a natural
part of the universal order for us to have. I am not using
the word to refer to political "rights", which are a man
made political set of rules, something else entirely.
After a person has spent a while complaining and
sticking up for his/her rights, others around this person
start to get tired of this. They start convincing the
person to change his/her behavior to please them (a good
spanking or two will usually accomplish this). The person
13
develops an understanding that it may be necessary to do
things to please other people. The person develops many
ways to do this, such as flattery, doing favors for others,
and so on.
One of the ways that the person learns to please
others is to believe what they say. We learn to believe
what our parents tell us in order to avoid angering them by
disagreeing with them. Most importantly, we accept what
they say is good or bad, right or wrong. This is one of the
ways we collect many of the thoughts that something is good
or bad, as discussed in the previous chapter. I mentioned
in that chapter that we decide what is good or bad by what
pleases us. Often it is what pleases us directly, like "You
should be nice to me." However, sometimes we believe that
something is good or bad, or we should or should not do
something, because believing this gives us the pleasure of
the approval of someone, particularly someone we are afraid
of (or were afraid of when we originally accepted the
belief).
One of the ways we learn to please others (or at
lest avoid displeasing them) is to not complain or stick up
for our rights. This creates inner conflict inside the
mind. A bunch of thoughts are popping into the awareness
saying to complain and stick up for our rights, and another
bunch of thoughts are popping up saying to please others by
not complaining or being belligerent and by believing them
when they say that complaining is a bad thing to do.
Now it is necessary to understand that once we have
accepted the decision to act in a certain way, that way of
thinking takes on a life of its own when the awareness is
not paying attention. The thought that it is time to act a
certain way, like complain, is generated by association
when a certain situation occurs, even if the current
situation is not exactly like the former one and the
particular action would no longer be effective. Likewise,
when a particular believe has been accepted, even if it was
originally accepted to please someone who is no longer
present, a sleeping awareness will accept this belief as a
fact when it is sent to the awareness by the intellectual
center. If the awareness is not looking at these thoughts
that say to do all these conflicting things, they all get
passed on to the action center. The person is torn apart
trying to do several conflicting things, or to believe
several conflicting things. For example, they may believe
that they have a right, based on the fact that they have
had something several times and they want it again, while
someone is telling them that they do not have this right.
There are several ways for a person to handle this
inner conflict. One is to finally pick one of the opposing
lines of thought and suppress the other. This usually
leaves the person feeling unsatisfied or uneasy. If they
decide to complain and stick up for their rights, they
14
experience conflict with others around them, and
occasionally some physical violence. If they decide to
please others by doing what others say and believing them
when they say that the person should not complain, should
not stick up for their rights, and generally should not
have things their way, the person feels like "I never get
to have any fun."
Another way that people often resolve the inner
conflict is to do both things, usually very ineffectively.
A very common example we see is the person complaining
bitterly about something, but only to someone who is not
involved in the situation and cannot possibly do anything
about it. Someone (a boss, spouse, parent, etc.) does
something that you don't like. The intellectual and
emotional centers send up the suggestion to complain about
this. The sleeping awareness passes this on to the action
center as a decision. Energy is generated to be very
forceful about complaining and sticking up for your rights
in this matter. By God, you're going to do something about
this! But before you can actually do anything (it takes a
few seconds for the physical body to get moving), another
message is sent up to the awareness and passed on to the
action center saying "Bite your tongue. This person could
really hurt/fire/reject/disapprove of/leave me if I make
them mad. Smile pleasantly and nod." The person smiles
pleasantly for the person they are afraid of, but then goes
out and complains to someone else. That someone else is
someone who would not be offended by (and may even approve
of) the complains against the person the complainer is mad
at. Another method of both complaining and not complaining
is to complain inwardly, gritting ones teeth and filling
oneself with resentment, while showing little or no outward
signs of complaining.
A very useful exercise to do this week (and to
continue doing indefinitely) is to watch for these thoughts
(complaining, sticking up for rights, pleasing others,
believing what we are told) as they come into the
awareness. Observe whenever you get the urge to complain,
especially if the complaining cannot possibly help. Be
aware that this is simply a suggestion. Be aware of your
separateness from this suggestion. You may still decide to
accept the suggestion. There are times when it can be quite
useful to complain, like when you are getting poor service
in a restaurant or store (if you complain to the right
people, not your spouse when you get home). If you decide
not to complain, do not fight the suggestion or try to
bottle it up. Just be aware that it was a thought passing
through the awareness and you do not have to act on it.
The same goes for sticking up for your rights. Be
aware when the thought that you have a right to something
goes through the mind. This thought can have many subtle
disguises. For example, you may sometimes have thought
15
something like, "You have no right to talk to me that way."
What this really means, deep down, is "I have a right to
have you not talk to me that way." Likewise, the thought
"You should not treat me that way" really means "I have a
right to have you not treat me that way." What for these
thoughts as they enter the awareness. When they do, ask
yourself, "On what grounds do I have this right?" Remember,
a right here means something that you want and it is an
intrinsic law of the universe that you have. Is there any
intrinsic law of the universe that says that people should
treat you nicely, or even fairly? (I'll give you a hint:
The answer is no.) Be aware of these thoughts that you have
a right to things and you must stick up for this right
whenever they are infringed upon. Be aware that they are
only thoughts popping into the awareness that you do not
have to act on. You will find yourself being a lot calmer.
Be aware when you find yourself trying to please
someone. This does not mean that you never what to do it.
Sometimes it can be very useful to please others. (You
catch more flies with honey, and all that.) It can even be
rather enjoyable to make someone happy sometimes when there
is nothing in it for you. But be aware when the thought
comes into the awareness that you MUST please someone.
Be aware when beliefs pop into the awareness,
especially beliefs that are hard to define like good bad,
evil, should, shouldn't. (Remember them from last week?)
When you find yourself believing anything, ask yourself
where you acquired this "knowledge". Did you observe this
yourself, or did someone tell it to you? If someone else
told you this, why did you believe it? Was it to please
them?
Lastly, be aware when you find yourself trying to
satisfy the basic desires (physical pleasure, attention,
approval, importance) and avoid the basic unpleasantnesses
(physical discomfort, being ignored, disapproval,
inferiority). This does not mean you necessarily do not
want to satisfy these desires. There is no reason not to
have a little pleasure in life. But by being aware of what
you are trying to gain from some action, and being aware
that you do not necessarily NEED these pleasures (or pain
avoidance) in order to survive, you can be a lot calmer and
more relaxed as you pursue them.
Watching for all these thoughts (and those of last
week) and observing your separateness from them should give
you a lot to do for the next week. If you are having
trouble getting the hang of all of this, please feel free
to take more than a week to work on it before going on to
the next chapter.
16
Chapter 4
Self Delusion And Blame
In the last chapter, we discussed some of the
methods people adopt to gain pleasure and avoid pain. These
included complaining, sticking up for rights, and doing and
believing as other people tell them to. I also mentioned
that this creates inner conflict when two methods are
mutually exclusive or contradictory. If you have been doing
the exercise of observing these thoughts while remaining
apart from them (subtle hint to do the homework), you have
observed these thoughts in yourself. Unless you have had a
remarkably dull or blissful week, you have had the
opportunity to observe the conflict this creates within you.
In Chapter 3, I also noted some of the ways that
people have of avoiding these conflicts. One is to do one
or the other of the things the thoughts tell you to do,
while feeling bad about not being able to do the other.
Another is to do both things, but do one or both of them in
an ineffective way (like complaining to someone who will
not be offended, but who cannot change the situation). In
this chapter, we will discuss two other ways that people
also attempt to deal with these conflicts.
The first way is to try to convince themselves that
they do not have any conflict. That is, they try to
convince themselves that they do not have certain desires
or thoughts. They may decide that they do not want to
complain. They may try to convince themselves that they
have no desire for the approval of others, and therefore do
not need to please others. They may try to convince
themselves that they have all the qualities that others
have told them are good, like patience, generosity, and so
on. In short, they build up a beautiful picture of
themselves, and convince themselves that this is what they
are really like. That way, they can praise themselves for
being such a wonderful person.
The problem with this technique is that the person
is usually unwilling to admit that they even have the
thoughts in the mind that they do not like. They just try
to cover them up with a lot of other thoughts and drowned
them out. Psychiatrists would call this suppression.
Now we know from the previous chapters and the
self-observation we have been doing for the last few weeks
(another subtle hint) that we all do have these thoughts.
The only way to really be free from these thoughts is to
allow them to come into the awareness, recognize them as
separate thoughts and suggestions, and then choose not to
obey them. However, this attempt to convince ourselves that
17
we do not have these thoughts and feelings and emotions has
the exact opposite effect. It prevents us from looking at
the thoughts and reevaluating them. In some ways, it
actually makes it easier for these thoughts to get past the
awareness and get into the action center, because the
awareness is trying not to see them.
Rather than decreasing the conflict, this attempt
to be something that you aren't actually increases it. You
not only need to deal with all the conflicting thoughts and
emotions, you have to deal with the fact that you have them
when you are trying to convince yourself that you don't. In
exchange for a few moments of self-adulation at what a
wonderful person you are, you have greatly increased your
inner conflict. You have also made yourself susceptible to
self-criticism for not living up to this ideal of what you
should be. (Go back to chapter 2 if you need a refresher on
ideals, which are another term for absolute should-be's.)
This conflict between what you inevitably find that
you think and feel and what you believe you should think
and feel leads each person to the last of the major methods
of trying to gain pleasure and avoid pain. This is the
ultimate solution to all the inner conflicts: Blame someone
else. Whatever is wrong, whenever the person is not happy,
whenever they fail to be the wonderful person they know
they really are, it is someone else's fault. If they are
not happy, it is because someone else will not do what is
necessary for the person to be happy. If the person is
somehow not this wonderful person they think they are, it
is someone else's fault. For example, "I really am a
patient, kind person, but you are so absolutely
insufferable that it is impossible for me to be the
wonderful person that I really am." (Stop and think for a
minute about what self-contradictory nonsense this is.)
There are two purposes to this blaming. The first
is to shift the blame off you. That is, it is a defensive
reaction. If someone says that you are not being the
perfect person that they say you should be, you can try to
find someone else to blame. This is an old habit left over
from our childhoods, when we tried to avoid punishment by
finding someone else to blame when we were in trouble.
The second purpose of all this blaming is to get
the other person to change so that everything will be
wonderful again. If we are not getting out way, we can find
someone else that needs to change in order for us to be
happy. If so-and-so would just do what they SHOULD do, I
would be so happy. Then we try to convince that person to
change their ways so everything would be just perfect. This
is also an old habit from childhood. Children don't have
much power to do anything on their own, so they have to get
someone else to do things for them.
The problem with this method of gaining pleasure
and avoiding pain is that all these stupid people who are
18
to blame just will not do what they should. We explain to
them that they are to blame and what they should do, and
they don't do it. Of course, they are to blame for not
accepting the blame, also.
This last method of getting what we want is usually
the least effective of them all. The other person usually
just gets defensive themselves when we blame them. After
all, they have the same decision to blame as everyone else.
This blaming usually just ends in a big argument, or even a
fight. Even if you manage to find someone who will accept
the blame (usually someone with very low self-esteem), it
does not really help. The other person can seldom really do
anything to help you, because the problem was really within
you. The other person just does not have the power to do
anything to help you. Of course, a really talented blamer
will usually manage to blame the person for not being able
to help them.
Since these last two methods of gaining pleasure
and escaping pain cause so much trouble, it can be worth
while so spend a week or so looking at just these. First,
consider the idea of trying to pretend (even to yourself)
that you do not have certain thoughts and feelings.
First, let's consider the idea that everyone has
the same basic desires and thoughts. That is, everyone has
the eight basic desires. They may be in different
proportions. There is nothing incorrect about the idea that
you may be more interested in one pleasure than another.
You may, for example, have very little desire for power.
The only problem comes if you try to convince yourself that
you have none of a certain desire, so that when the desire
comes into your awareness, you are unable or unwilling to
recognize it. The point here is that there is no need for
you to feel ashamed or afraid to have the same feelings as
everyone else. The same thing applies to all of the methods
of trying to achieve these desires. Everyone has the
thoughts that they should complain, stick up for their
rights, please others, accept what others tell them, try to
be something that they are not, and blame others when
things go wrong. There is no reason to pretend that you do
not have these thoughts. There is a very good reason to
admit that you do: Until you admit that you have the
thoughts, the awareness cannot recognize them when the
intellectual center sends them to the awareness as
suggestions. Until the awareness recognizes them, it cannot
make the choice (if it decides it wants to) not to obey
them. Instead, they will be passed on to the action center,
usually with some rationalization that they are something
else. Thus, you have every reason to recognize these
thoughts and feelings and no reason not to.
In addition, consider the fact that these thoughts
and feelings are not really you (remember good old chapter
1). These thoughts are simply suggestions that you were
19
given and that you put into the intellectual and emotional
centers before you know any better. They are simply
suggestions that are sent up from these centers for
consideration by the awareness. THEY ARE NOT YOU. You do
not need to be ashamed of them or afraid of them. You do
not need to change them. All you need to do is recognize
them, be aware that they are just suggestions and, if you
choose to, decide not to obey them. They will still be with
you (although you will find that they will be presented by
the intellectual and emotional centers less and less often
if you do not act on them), but they are not you.
So, your first experiment for the week is to be on
the lookout for how often you find yourself believing (or
trying to convince yourself) that you are a certain way
simply because it is desirable to be that way. Also, be
aware of how often you try to be a certain way because
someone else has said that you should be that way. The most
common reason for trying to be a certain way is to please
others, or to be what other say we SHOULD be (usually some
authority figure, like a parent, priest, etc.).
As a part of this experiment, freely face up to any
suggestions and feeling or emotions that you find coming
into the awareness. When you experience them, remember that
they are not you. You do not have to "not be that way" or
"not feel that way" or "not think such thoughts" because
they are not you. Be aware that you do not need to be
afraid or ashamed of these thoughts or feelings or
emotions, because (I think I've said this before) they are
not you.
The last experiment for this week is to watch out
for blaming. Be aware when blaming thoughts enter the
awareness. Watch for thoughts like "If he would only do . .
." or "It is her fault that . . ." or "I could do . . . (or
be . . .) if only that other person would . . .". When such
thoughts enter the awareness, other thoughts usually
accompany them, such as "I must make him (or her) accept
(and/or admit) the blame and do what they should so that I
can be happy." (Usually this is not specifically expressed
as "so I can be happy", but as a more specific event will
occur. This event is then something that you feel would
ultimately make you happy.) Be aware of these thoughts too.
Be aware that they are all only thoughts. Be aware that you
do not have to accept or act on these thoughts. You also
might find it useful to be aware of how unlikely it is that
you will gain anything from acting on these thoughts. (That
is, that the person will ever accept the blame, mend their
evil ways, and dedicate their life to making you happy.) Be
aware of all the thoughts that come up if you decide not to
blame or try to force the other person to change, such as
"But they really should . . ." or "But it really is their
fault." or "But it is so unfair that they do not . . .". Be
aware that these are only thoughts too, being sent up from
20
the intellectual and emotional centers.
That will keep you busy for another week or so.
21
Chapter 5
Feelings and Emotions
In some of the previous chapters, I have been
promising to explain the difference between feelings and
emotions. Well, now is the time.
Feelings are certain natural, built-in sensations
that we all have and which are completely natural (and
unavoidable) to experience. Some of these feelings are
pleasant, some are unpleasant. Some of the pleasant ones
are happiness, joy, love, and satisfaction. Some of the
unpleasant feelings are loneliness and rejection. The
common denominator of feelings is that they are a direct
result of the current situation. If you gain attention and
approval from someone, you will feel pleasure, joy, and
happiness. If someone or something gives you pleasure, you
will probably feel love for that person or thing. If you
are alone for a while, you will start to feel loneliness
(you don't have to wallow in it, however). If someone tells
you they do not like you, you will feel rejected and
disapproved of. The situation exists and we feel a
sensation that is connected with it.
Emotions, on the other hand, are a secondary or
indirect response to our environment, based on how our
inner thought processes respond to it. A combination of
thoughts that are in conflict with each other or with
reality produces a mental energy that is undirected or
misdirected. This mental energy cannot easily be used and
therefore produces a generally unpleasant sensation we call
emotion. Typical emotions are fear, anger, anxiety, and
guilt.
There are specific thoughts that lead to each
emotion. Studying which thoughts lead to which emotions can
have several benefits. First, knowing which thoughts cause
which emotions can allow the awareness to be on the lookout
for these thoughts and recognize them when they come into
the awareness. It can then not accept them unquestioningly,
just as it has learned to not accept thoughts discussed in
previous chapters. This will prevent them from being put
into the action center, and will decrease the amount of
emotions we experience. (Note: Some people refer to
"negative emotions." I am declining to use that term here
simply because all emotions are negative as we are defining
them here. That is, all emotions are a response to
inappropriate and mistaken thoughts that are accepted by
the awareness. All emotions generate violent or destructive
mental energy which has no place to be effectively
channeled to, and are therefore destructive to the body and
22
mind. Therefore, all emotions are negative. Please be aware
that we are using the term emotions here in a specific
sense that is slightly different from the common usage of
the word. Some people include feelings in the things we are
calling emotions here, which we do not.)
A secondly reason for studying which thoughts
produce which emotions is that it can help us be aware of
what thoughts are slipping past the awareness by observing
what emotions we are feeling. That is, if we find ourselves
feeling certain emotions (note that we are feeling
emotions, not having or being those emotions. Remember
chapter 1), we can look back at what thoughts caused those
emotions. This can serve as a sort of biofeedback on our
thoughts that will help us be aware of thoughts that we may
have missed as they passed through the awareness while it
was not on the job.
The first emotion to understand is fear. Fear is
caused by a combination of two thoughts. The first is that
something unpleasant is going to happen soon. "Soon" may be
in a few seconds, hours, days, or years, but the person
feeling fear thinks of it as "soon" (usually "too soon").
The second thought is that you must do something about this
situation NOW. Both of these thoughts are usually in error.
The first is in error because we cannot really know the
future with total certainty. That is, we may know that it
is fairly likely that something is going to happen in the
future but we cannot know with absolute certainty that
anything (except possibly death and taxes) will happen. We
also cannot be sure that it is going to be as bad
(unpleasant) as we think it is. We may be building it up in
our minds to unrealistic proportions. The second thought,
that we must do something NOW, is always wrong when we are
experiencing fear. That is, fear is always caused by trying
to do something about a future situation before it is
possible. We envision the situation as we expect it to
exist in the future. We try to respond to this situation
now. The body releases chemicals such as adrenaline that
generate tremendous amounts of energy in the body to deal
with this situation. But the body has no use for this
energy, because there is nothing for the body to do about
this situation, because the situation does not presently
exist. Thus, all this tremendous energy is flowing through
the body with nowhere to go. The person feels great
urgency, a need to do something, to run away or fight
someone. This is the sensation of fear.
For example, lets say that a person is due to give
a speech in front of a large crowd. The person has the
thought that he will make a mistake and embarrass himself,
or that the crowd will be hostile to his speech. He has the
thought that he wants to run away from this hostile crowd.
He has all this energy mobilized to run away from these
dangerous people. However, he has not yet made any mistakes
23
in his speech and the crowd is not yet hostile. Perhaps he
has not even started his speech yet. In fact, the speech
may be days in the future. Therefore, he has no place to
run and nobody to run from at the moment. This sensation of
wanting to do something about an unpleasant situation
before there is anything that can be done is fear.
The second emotion to understand is anxiety.
Anxiety is very similar to fear. In anxiety, the person
also has a thought that something terrible is about to
happen or is happening now. As in fear, the person has the
thought that they must do something about this terrible
thing. In anxiety, however, the person has no idea what to
do about the situation. With fear, the person had a pretty
good idea what they wanted to do (usually either run away
or fight someone). With anxiety, the person still has the
thought that they want to do something about the situation,
but does not know what to do. Sometimes, the reason the
person does not know what to do is because they do not know
what the terrible thing that is about to happen is. That
is, they have a suspicion that something is about to go
wrong, but they do not know what it is and therefore do not
know what to do about it. As in fear, the body generates
tremendous amounts of energy to do something about the
situation, but the body has no way to expend this energy.
Anxiety can be described as unfocused or uncrystalized fear.
The third emotion to understand is anger. Anger is
caused by the thoughts that something unpleasant has
happened to you and that someone or something specific is
to blame. That is, if that someone or something else would
behave differently, you would be happy. It involves the
thought that you must make that person behave differently.
Again, the body releases lots of adrenaline and related
chemicals into the system in order to give you the energy
to go force that person to behave differently. Often you
have only a fuzzy idea or exactly what you are going to do
to this person. Sometimes you feel that by beating this
person up, or even killing them, the situation will
improve. This is especially true when the person has made
you feel inferior (powerless) or rejected you. By severely
injuring that person or even killing them, you can at least
feel that they are no longer more powerful than you or can
no longer reject you. Occasionally, you have only a fuzzy
idea of exactly who the person is that is to blame. You
just are angry at the world. Sometimes you are angry at a
situation or inanimate object. The principle is the same.
The body still generates energy for you to use to fight
this person, situation, or inanimate object. Remember that
when the awareness is asleep, it is accepting and acting on
suggestions coming up from the intellectual and emotional
centers. These centers are just providing these suggestions
based on the closest situation in their data files. Often
that information says that when you have had something
24
unpleasant happen to you, someone has probably done
something to you, and you should punish that person to make
them stop. The sleeping awareness will pass on this
suggestion to the action center and it will try to hurt
someone, even if that someone has not been clearly
identified.
Hatred is similar to anger. The difference is that
in anger, you actively feel (at some level of the mind)
that you intend to take action against someone soon. In
hatred, you have accepted that you cannot do anything in
the immediate future, but you intend to do something if and
when you get the chance. It is basically anger put on hold.
The body still generates energy to hurt someone, but it
puts it on hold. The thought is then put into the
intellectual center to be on the lookout for ways to hurt
the target of the hatred. This makes for easy associations
with violence within the intellectual center.
Guilt is when you decide that you are to blame for
the current situation, rather than someone else. You try to
punish yourself, rather than someone else. This is
certainly easier than punishing someone else (someone else
will probably resist the punishment), but it is a rather
unpleasant solution.
Depression is caused when you feel that an
unpleasant situation exists, and there is nobody at all to
blame (not even yourself) and nothing that you can do about
it (like run away or fight). Instead, the suggestion being
followed is that since the situation cannot be made any
better, you may as well make it worse, or at least make it
seem worse by finding worse and worse ways of looking at
the situation and describing it. At least that way, people
will pity you or you can wallow in self-pity. People who
are accepting the depression thoughts will usually actively
resist any attempt to make things better, since if the
situation gets better they will miss out on all that pity.
Suggestions like, "Why don't you do something to cheer
yourself up, like go to a funny movie?" will fall on deaf
ears.
As an exercise for this week, let's be on the
lookout for any of these thoughts that generate emotions.
We can look at them as suggestions and decide whether we
want to act on them. In all cases, we can look at (and not
identify with) the suggestions that the current situation
is so bad that we MUST do something about it. Looking at
things in terms of relative unpleasantness rather than
absolute good or bad will go a long way toward reducing the
urgency of the emotions. We can also look out for specific
thoughts that lead to specific emotions.
For fear, be aware of any things that enter the
awareness that suggest that something terrible is going to
happen. Look at whether you really KNOW that this is going
to happen. If it seems fairly certain that the event will
25
happen, look at whether you really KNOW that it is going to
be as bad as you are imagining it. Most importantly, look
out for thoughts that suggest that you must do something
NOW about this situation. That is, look at whether you are
living in the NOW. When the thought comes into the
awareness to run away from this situation, look at whether
there is anything to run away from RIGHT NOW, or are you
simply envisioning something that may appear sometime in
the future. If the person, thing, or event that you want to
run away from is not present now, you can realize that the
suggestion to run away (or fight) is not practical. In that
case, you can make the decision not to accept the
suggestion to run (or fight) now, and therefore not to
generate all that energy right now. Practice living in the
NOW and responding to things that exist right now, rather
than the things your intellectual center is showing you
could happen in the future. If the event does happen in the
future, you can always accept the suggestion to run away or
fight then, when you actually have something you can do. By
not generating all that energy until you can use it, you
will save yourself having all that energy running through
you with no place to go.
The same basic idea goes for anxiety. If you feel
that something bad is about to happen, look at how sure you
are that it will happen and how sure you are that it will
be that bad. When the suggestion enters the awareness that
you must do SOMETHING about this situation, look at that
suggestion. Does the suggestion give you any idea WHAT to
do about the situation? If so, is it something you can do?
If you look at the suggestion and see that it does not
offer anything specific you can do, you may see that it has
no value to try to do SOMETHING. If you see that the
thought is just a suggestion that popped into your
awareness and that it has no value, the awareness will not
accept it, the suggestion will not be passed on to the
action center, and you will feel less anxiety.
For anger and hatred, look at the suggestion that
someone is to blame for the situation. Is there really one
person or thing that is to blame? That is, was the
situation really caused by a single individual or group or
thing, or was it a combination of events that lead up to
it? Is it possible for this one person that you are blaming
to fix the situation or make it better? If not, there is
little use in your trying to take action against that
person. If it is possible for that person to fix things
(make the situation more pleasant again), is there a
snowball's chance in Hell that you will be able to persuade
them to do it by arguing with them, or even by violence? If
the answer to any of these questions is no, you might look
at the suggestions that you blame them and try to get them
to change as just suggestions, and decide whether you
really want to expend the effort and make the personal
26
sacrifices (which will be discussed in the next chapter) to
act on these suggestions. Remember that if the awareness
can separate itself from these suggestions and decide not
to accept them, they will not be put into the action center.
If you detect the thoughts that lead to guilt
entering the awareness, look at these suggestions
carefully. Is there any benefit from punishing yourself? If
you decide that you really do not want to do the thing that
you were starting to feel guilty about, you can stop doing
it. It is not necessary to punish yourself to get yourself
to stop doing it, just stop doing it. And if you decide not
to stop doing the thing, what is the benefit in punishing
yourself for doing it if you are still going to do it? You
might as well go ahead and do it, and enjoy it. Be aware of
thoughts that say you should (there is that "should" again)
punish yourself by feeling guilty, and decide if you want
to do that.
As for depression, watch out for thoughts entering
the awareness that suggest that you make the situation
worse. That is, watch out for thoughts that look for the
bad side of a situation. When you detect such thoughts, ask
yourself if you really want to make things worse, or if you
would prefer to make things better (even a little better).
You can talk yourself into thinking things are worse, or
you can look at the bright side and make the most of the
situation, and maybe even do something to make the
situation better. The choice is up to you.
Spend a week or so practicing being on the lookout
for the thoughts that lead to these destructive emotions.
In the next chapter, we will discuss emotions some more.
For now, getting some practice at being aware of the
thoughts that create these emotions can be well worthwhile.
27
Chapter 6
Vicious Cycles
One aspect of emotions that makes it difficult for
the awareness to remember its separateness from the
emotions is that the emotions can be self-perpetuating.
There are several feedback cycles (otherwise know as
vicious cycles) that can keep emotions feeding on
themselves. It can be very worthwhile to be aware of these
cycles so that the awareness can spot them as they occur
and break the cycle.
The first of these cycles is caused by an old habit
that many people have of trying to justify or rationalize
the emotions that they are feeling. This is especially true
if it is an emotion that they feel they should not be
having. First, some thought or event occurs that triggers
some emotion or feeling. We begin to feel the emotion
rising up within us. If the emotion is one that we have
been taught to believe we should not have (such as anger),
we then start to justify this emotion.
For example, suppose someone does something that we
do not like, and we start to experience anger. We start
building up a case in our mind to justify this anger. We
start thinking of other things this person has done that we
do not like. We may even start imagining things that this
person might be doing or might do sometime in the future.
Of course, all these thoughts about what the person has
done or might do trigger more feelings of anger. These
feelings of anger then cause us to think of even more
terrible things about that person, and so on. Before you
know it, some poor person who has done one little thing to
you (at least recently) has become the worst person in all
of recorded history, and probably for some time before that.
What is happening is that the intellectual center
is providing associations based on the information it is
receiving from the awareness. The awareness is identifying
with the anger and with the thoughts that the person you
are experiencing anger against is bad. It is accepting
these as true, and therefore putting them into the
intellectual center as true. The intellectual center is
therefore providing the awareness with information that
seems relevant based on its associations. This information
is more information about how bad this other person is. Of
course, these thoughts of what a terrible person this is
seldom trigger pleasant associations about the person, such
as a few of the nice things this person has done.
Even if the emotion or feeling is not one that we
try to justify, we often look for reasons we are having
28
this emotion if it is an unpleasant one. For example, if we
are afraid, we look for reasons why we are afraid. If we
are feeling sad, we often look for things that are making
us sad. This has the same effect as justifying the emotion,
because we are still generating reasons or excuses for
having the emotion. The big problem with this attempt to
find reasons for our emotions is that the reasons we come
up with then help to increase the emotions and feelings.
Take fear, for example. Suppose something startles
you or scares you. You start to feel the fear. The
intellectual center receives the information that something
terrible is about to happen. It therefore provides more
information on terrible things that can happen by providing
previously stored information on scary situations. These
thoughts trigger more fear, and the cycle repeats. Before
you know it, one little noise downstairs has convinced you
that a squad of foreign terrorists have driven a truck bomb
into your living room. Figure 6.1 provides a graphic
representation of the process.
The same process can Initial Event
occur for just about any |
feeling or emotion, good |
or bad. If you are feeling V
guilty, the intellectual Emotion <--------------+
center will provide you | |
with lots of thoughts about | |
what a terrible person you V |
are. If you are feeling sad Justifying thoughts |
or down, it will provide and/or associations ---+
you with lots of thoughts with the emotion
about what a miserable life
you have. On the other hand, Figure 6.1
if you are feeling cheerful,
the intellectual center will provide you with thoughts and
memories of how nice everything has been and can be. If
you feel good about someone, the intellectual center will
be provided with lots of thoughts about nice things about
that person.
The cycle of negative feelings or emotions can be
broken at several points using the same techniques
discussed in previous chapters. That is, the awareness can
maintain its separateness from the thoughts and emotions.
When you feel the emotion or feeling, be aware that it is
simply something that you are experiencing, a sensation
coming from the emotional center. If it is an emotion,
remember that it is simply something that was triggered by
the conditioned thoughts discussed in the chapter 5. There
is no reason to reason to justify having it. For example,
if the emotion is anger, be aware that one of those blaming
thoughts managed to get through the awareness when it
wasn't paying attention. You don't need to justify the
anger. You don't need to look for additional reasons to be
29
angry with the person. If such thoughts about other reasons
to be angry do come up from the intellectual center due to
associations, just view them as suggestions that the
awareness can reject. Remember, there is no value to you in
getting angry, so you have every reason to ignore these
thoughts providing you with "reasons" to be angry. The same
goes for being afraid, or any of the other emotions or
feelings. You can break the vicious cycle by disidentifying
(that is, remembering our separateness from) with either
the feelings and emotions, or with the thoughts which then
feed them (or with both).
You also can go a step beyond breaking the negative
cycle by creating a positive one. Decide what emotion you
would like to be feeling. Act as if you are already feeling
that way. If you want to feel happy, smile lot and act
happy. This will generate associations with happy thoughts,
which will cause the intellectual center to send these
happy thoughts to the awareness. This will then generate
the feeling of happiness, which will generate the same
cycle shown in figure 6.1, only with a pleasant, positive
feeling.
Another cycle that can cause runaway emotions is
the adaptation cycle. It works like this. When a person
experiences a strong emotion such as fear or anger, the
person's body releases certain chemicals that affect the
metabolism, such as adrenaline. This is a holdover from our
ancient history when we lived in the wild. Our primitive
ancestors had a lot of trouble with dangerous animals,
violent human enemies, and other dangers. When they
experienced anger or fear, it was usually because they were
in some physical danger, such as having someone or
something attack them. In such as situation, it was very
valuable to have a sudden extra supply of energy. Because
of this, our primitive ancestors developed these glands
that squirt all sorts of chemicals into out bloodstream
when they felt these emotions. These chemicals released the
necessary energy to fight the threatening creature or at
least run away very fast. Unfortunately, we still have
these glands even though we seldom need to fight or run
when we experience strong emotions. For example, it is
usually strongly counterproductive to get into a fist fight
or run away when your boss is yelling at you or your spouse
is threatening to leave you. As a result, we experience the
emotions (that is, until we get really good at
disidentifying with the thoughts that cause them) and have
all this energy released into our systems, but we do not
immediately use the energy. When the body realizes that you
are not going to use all this energy by fighting or
running, it must find another way to get rid of this energy
coursing through your bloodstream. It usually finds some
simple (although not necessarily pleasant) way to get rid
of it, such as causing your heart to beat faster or your
30
stomach muscles to tie themselves in knots or your neck
muscles to tighten up (which often gives you a headache).
This deliberate waste of excess energy is called
adaptation, because your body is adapting to excess energy
by using it up.
Now ordinarily, these adaptations are short-lived
and harmless, even if they are uncomfortable. The problem
comes if the person is not aware of this fact and allows
the adaptations themselves to trigger other emotions. The
most common emotion is fear of the adaptation itself, such
as fear that you are having a heart attack or other serious
problem. Some people also get angry
about having the unpleasant Initial emotion
sensations, such as blaming the |
person they are arguing with for V
giving them a headache. +-->Release of----+
Of course, the new emotions | chemicals |
then release more chemicals into | V
the bloodstream, which generates More Physical
more adaptations. This can easily emotions reaction
become a vicious cycle. Figure 6.2 ^ |
shows the process. Eventually, | |
it is quite possible for the part +--Concern about<-+
of the body that is using up the physical reaction
energy to become worn out and start
to break down. Then you can start to Figure 6.2
have real problems, such as ulcers.
As before, there are several simple ways to break
this cycle. The first thing to do is simply be aware that
the physical sensations you are feeling after experiencing
a strong emotion like fear or anger are a normal, healthy
way for your body to get rid of some excess energy, even if
it is a bit uncomfortable at the moment. If you just leave
it alone, it will go away by itself. This knowledge alone
is often enough to break the cycle, since you are no longer
afraid of the adaptation. If this is not enough, then you
can actively observe all the thoughts coming into the
awareness telling you that you must do something about the
physical sensations, and reject these suggestions. You also
can disidentify with the emotions that you experience that
are caused by the physical sensations, such as fear, anger,
etc. Disidentifying with the thoughts and emotions will
greatly reduce or even eliminate the release of chemicals,
and therefore break the cycle.
There is a third cycle that can make it more
difficult (notice I do not say impossible) to quiet the
emotions. Some of the chemicals that I have just described
that your body releases when you experience strong emotions
can actually be addictive. If you have been experiencing a
certain emotion for a long time, you can become somewhat
addicted to the chemicals associated with that emotion.
When you stop feeling that emotion because you have started
31
to disidentify from and reject the thoughts that cause it,
you may actually start to feel an almost subliminal craving
for that emotion. We all know someone who has held an
emotion (resentment, fear, self-pity, etc.) for so long
that they only seem to be happy (I use that word very
loosely here) when they are wallowing in that emotion. If
you have been dominated for a long time by some particular
emotion and you start to observe and reject the thoughts
that cause it so that you stop experiencing that emotion,
you may start to experience a temporary emotional
discomfort. This could take the form of an uneasiness or
edginess, a slight feeling of emptiness, or a craving or
desire to have that emotion again. This can tend to draw
you back to experiencing the emotion. If this happens, just
be aware of the feeling and disidentify from the feeling of
wanting or missing the emotion. It is just temporary,
although it may return with decreasing frequency and
intensity as time goes on, just like any craving for
something unhealthy you give up. If you are aware of it,
you should have no difficulty rejecting this suggestion,
just like any other.
For the next week (and the rest of your life), be
on the lookout for the vicious cycles described in this
chapter. These are fairly easy to spot, because you have
the emotions associated with them to act as a little
"alarm" to warn you. As soon as you start to feel an
emotion, start looking for any thoughts that begin to
follow the emotion that tend to reinforce the emotion. If
you feel anger at someone (or something), immediately look
for thoughts that pop into the awareness that tend to agree
with the anger. If you experience fear, be on the lookout
for associations that will reinforce the fear. The same
goes for all unpleasant emotions. When such thoughts do
enter the awareness, observe that they are just suggestions
and reject them. You have enough to do with what is going
on NOW without having all these associations to deal with.
Of course, ideally you will eventually learn to spot and
reject the thoughts that cause the emotions in the first
place (as described in chapter 5), but when you are just
starting out in this work a few may get by the awareness
and into the emotional and action centers. If that happens,
breaking the self-perpetuating cycle is the next best thing.
If you do have a strong emotion and begin to feel a
physical reaction sometime afterward (it may be only a
minute or two, but it could be as long as several days), be
aware that this is a normal reaction. Observe and reject
any suggestions that you need to feel fear or anger (or any
other emotion) about these physical sensations.
As you become successful at the techniques
described in this chapter and the preceding ones, you will
find that you will experience less and less violent emotion
(even fear or guilt can be considered a violent emotion
32
here, since they are destructive to the body and mind).
Once that happens, be on the lookout for any cravings to go
back to these emotions. It may not happen at all, but if it
does, just disidentify from the sensation and suggestions.
They will fade some enough, and you will be rewarded by a
much calmer inner state.
Take care to do the exercises for this week and to
continue to do the ones from the preceding weeks.
33
Chapter 7
Living in the Now
One of the reasons that the thoughts coming from
the intellectual center sometimes get sent on to the action
center is that the awareness sometimes does not pay close
attention to whether images that come to it are actually
happening now. Ideally, the awareness would look at
information coming to it from the senses, evaluate what to
do about this situation, and send the correct decision on
to the action center. The information that comes from the
intellectual center would be used for reference only, to
help evaluate the current information coming from the
senses. Unfortunately, the images that come from the
intellectual center can sometimes seem so real that this
information is reported to the action center as if it were
currently happening.
Let's take a simple (and common) example. Suppose
you are at a social gathering and you spot someone who once
did something to you that caused you pain or prevented you
from getting pleasure (as defined in chapter 3). By
association, the intellectual center will send images of
this event to the awareness when you see this person. In
short, you will remember the event. As these memories are
being shown to the awareness, it can seem to the awareness
as if the events are actually happening. The awareness can
send this information to the emotional center and the
action center, causing strong emotions and the physical
reactions discussed in the previous chapter. This is not to
say that the awareness has totally lost touch with reality
and is totally unaware that these things are not happening
now. It merely means that in the moments that the awareness
is seeing the vivid memory images, they can seem real
enough to be acted on by the emotional and action centers
if the awareness is not careful.
The same thing can happen with memories involving
other emotions, such as fear, depression, and so on. As an
association causes the intellectual center to replay scenes
from past events, the images can be so vivid that for a few
moments the awareness relives the event and passes the same
decisions made then on to the emotional and action centers.
The same situation can even exist when the
awareness sees images from the intellectual center that
have never happened. This occurs when you are worried about
something that might happen in the future. The intellectual
center puts together hypothetical pictures of what might
happen and shows them to the awareness for consideration.
The awareness, however, is half asleep and views these as
34
real events. It makes decisions based on these images and
sends instructions to the action center.
For example, suppose you expect to face a situation
that you consider threatening tomorrow (such as going into
battle). The intellectual center may create images of what
this may be like. As the awareness sees these images, it
reacts to them as if they were happening right now, and
sends instructions to the action center to fight (or run).
The action center releases the necessary chemicals into the
bloodstream to release energy to do this. By the time the
awareness wakes up and realizes that this situation does
not exist right now, this energy is rushing through your
body. You then have the situation described in chapter 6
(all wound up and no place to go).
What can you do about this? The solution is for the
awareness to make the extra effort to stay awake and be
aware at all times of where its information is coming from.
Is it observing something that is actually happening, or is
this simply an image being shown to it? When images of past
events or possible future events flood the awareness, focus
on what is actually happening now. This does not mean to
try to block out these images coming from the intellectual
center. To make this attempt would only increase the
tension, and would be impossible. Simply keep in the
awareness the knowledge that these images are not actually
what is happening, and that there is no need to act on
them. As you see the false images and at the same time see
the knowledge that these images are not happening now, the
effect of these images will fade automatically.
You also can remind yourself as often as possible
that it is more valuable to be aware of what is happening
right now than to react to what has happened in the past or
what might happen in the future. Reminding yourself of this
will send a message to the intellectual center that the
awareness is not very interested in rehashing old scenes or
seeing hypothetical events in the future. This will slowly
have the effect of decreasing the frequency and intensity
of these mental images, because the intellectual center
will slowly get the message that they have little value.
As your exercise for the week, make a special
effort to be aware at all times of whether what the
awareness sees is real, or images from the intellectual
center. Practice acting on what is happening now, and
reminding yourself that there is no point in dwelling on
images of things that are not happening now. Remember that
even if these are events that did happen in the past or
might happen in the future, you cannot respond NOW to a
situation that does not exist NOW. Therefore, dwelling on
these images or reacting to them is useless (and
potentially harmful).
This is a short chapter with a single subject.
However, it is such a valuable subject that it is well
35
worth devoting an entire week solely to it. It also will be
worth continuing to do for the rest of your life.
36
Chapter 8
Thoughts to Ponder
In the first chapter, we discussed seeing thoughts
as separate from the awareness. We discussed seeing these
thoughts as suggestions that could be acted on or rejected
once we saw them as separate from the real awareness. In
the chapters that followed, we discussed many specific
thoughts and emotions from the viewpoint of seeing that
most of these actually had little value under most
circumstances and would best be rejected as suggestions. In
this chapter, we will toss out a few ideas (many of which
have been discussed in the previous chapters) that can be
valuable to consider when some of those suggestions come
into the awareness.
*****
When any suggestion that you do something comes
into the awareness, you ALWAYS have at least two choices.
You can obey the suggestion, or you can reject it. The
thought that you MUST (have to, need to, etc.) do something
is always wrong. You always have the option of simply not
doing anything about the current situation. You can accept
it, and allow yourself to experience it without resisting.
Although our culture often glamorizes struggling against
impossible odds, being able to accept what you cannot
change is a valuable ability.
*****
You can only respond to and deal with the situation
at hand, as it is NOW. There is nothing you can do to
change the past. You cannot respond to a situation in the
future until the future arrives and the situation occurs.
Concentrating on what is happening now and responding
appropriately to it is the most the most useful use of your
energy.
*****
Many people have a mental picture of the way they
would like things to be, of some ideal situation. They then
expend all their energy trying to achieve this ideal
situation, no matter how impractical or unrealistic it is.
It is more constructive to look realistically at what the
situation is, then see what small improvement you can make
in this situation, rather than complaining because the
37
situation is not perfect. There is an old saying that it is
better to light one little candle than to curse the
darkness.
*****
Although the suggestions that come into the
awareness often are expressed in extremes, the situation is
never totally "bad." There is always something desirable or
useful in every situation. It can be very valuable to see
the benefit of any situation. For one thing, it will
improve your mental health. For another, once you have seen
what is valuable about the situation, you can start putting
that value to some use and making the value grow.
*****
If nothing else, every unpleasant situation gives
you a chance to strengthen yourself by overcoming it.
Consider the possibility that the real purpose of life is
personal growth and development, rather than the
accumulation of personal wealth or the experiencing of
personal pleasure. If you can look at it that way, every
experience you have can be interesting and enriching.
*****
When any thought that takes the form of a belief
("I believe that . . .") comes into the awareness, it can
be valuable to ask yourself what is the source of that
belief. Is it something you experienced yourself, or did
you accept something someone else told you? If someone else
told you this, does that person actually have any real
basis for their belief, or were they simply repeating
something they heard?
*****
When a certain situation occurs, we will often
associate it with a previous situation and think it is
exactly the same. It is not. No two situations are ever
exactly the same. Before you react to a situation as if it
were the same as a previous situation, stop and look at how
the situation is different. Ask yourself how these
differences might affect how you can respond to the
situation.
*****
The phrase "I should" or "You should" has no real
meaning. When it comes into your awareness, try to pinpoint
exactly what it means.
38
*****
You cannot do two things at the same time,
especially when they are mutually contradictory. When two
contradictory suggestions come into the awareness (usually
something like "I must" and "I must not"), pick one to act
on and drop the other COMPLETELY. Do not try to do both. Of
course, you also can always decide not to accept either
suggestion.
*****
It is not necessary (or even possible) to get rid
of any thoughts that are bothering you. All you can do (and
all you need to do) is observe that they are separate from
you, that they are just suggestions, and that you do not
have to act on them or accept them.
*****
There is no value in blaming someone (or something)
for an unpleasant situation. If a situation exists, then it
exists. Period. Attempting to place blame for it will
accomplish nothing. It will only create turmoil, both
within you and between you and the person or thing you
place blame on. Your time is more constructively spent
doing what you can about the situation.
*****
No situation lasts forever. If things seem really
bad (unpleasant), just wait a while and things will get
better. Of course, you are free to make whatever
contribution to helping them get better that you can.
*****
When you make something important to you (when you
think in terms of "must" or "need" or "have to") you create
great inner turmoil and anxiety. When you find this
happening, stop and ask yourself if achieving this thing is
worth this inner turmoil. You might just decide to give up
the struggle for this thing that you thought was so
important. Interestingly enough, once you have fully and
really realized that you are free to give up this thing you
though you "must" have, you can pursue it freely without
anxiety.
*****
There is an old saying that "Nothing is good or
39
bad, but thinking makes it so." That is, a situation is not
bad until you accept the suggestion that it is. You may
find almost any situation tolerable or even pleasant (at
least interesting) if you do not accept the suggestion that
it is bad and you must change it.
*****
There are two kinds of freedom: Being free from all
unpleasant situations, and being free from the control of
the thoughts and emotions by learning to see that they are
not us and we do not have to accept them. The first type of
freedom is impossible to ever attain. There will always be
some unpleasant situations in our lives. The second kind of
freedom is attainable. It is possible by practice to view
each thought as a suggestion, to look at each suggestion,
and decide if we want to act on it (put it into the action
center). If we select wisely (which we can learn from
experience to do), if we decide to act only on those ideas
that are beneficial to us and are possible to act on, we
will be free from inner turmoil. If we learn to see the
feelings and emotions that come up from the emotional
center as sensations that we can live with, even when they
are unpleasant, we can find that they cannot control us.
This is real freedom.
40
The Automatic Car
A Modern Parable
Once there was a man who had a nice, new car. He was
very happy with the fact that he could drive the car
wherever he wanted to go. After a while, however, he
thought it would be nice if the car would take him where he
wanted to go by itself, without him needing to drive it. He
installed a computer in the car that could learn the routes
to the places that the man drove to. After the man had
driven the car someplace, he could tell the computer
something like "This is the way I go to work. Take me here
every day from Monday to Friday." or "This is the way to my
girlfriend's house. Take me here every Friday night" or
"This is the way to the grocery store. Take me here when I
am hungry." After a while, the car learned to drive the man
everywhere that he normally liked to go. The man found this
so relaxing that he could just get in the car and go to
sleep, and the car would go where it had learned to drive.
After a while, the man got so comfortable that he would
just stay in the car and sleep, and the car would take him
everywhere.
This worked all right for a little while, but soon
problems began to develop. He broke up with his girlfriend
and got another one, but the car still took him to his old
girlfriend's house. The grocery store moved to a new
location, but the car still took him to the old location.
Sometimes the car took him to work on holiday's when he did
not need to go to work. Worst of all, sometimes there were
obstructions in the road, like road construction or heavy
traffic. The car did not understand these things, and just
plowed on through them, which gave the man a very rough
ride indeed. Unfortunately, the man had gotten so used to
sleeping in his car, he still let it take him wherever it
was used to going. He even stopped going to new places,
because the car did not know how to go there and it seemed
like so much trouble to wake up and drive himself.
One day, the man had a very bad day. The car plowed
through a detour sign and took him over a very bumpy road
to a place the man really didn't even want to go to. The
man finally decided to take charge of the car. He
considered destroying the computer, but he realized that
some of the information in the computer was still worth
keeping. He checked the computer's memory and threw out all
the old routes that took him places he no longer wanted to
go or took him where he wanted in an inefficient way. He
left in the routes that were still good. However, he also
developed an override switch that allowed him to take over
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if he saw obstacles in the way or changed his mind about
where he wanted to go. Then he resolved to stay awake and
watch where he was going so the computer would only be a
servant and not control where he went.
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